Jarvis Benjamin Variety Hour

Hello, friends. Welcome back to another year of the Actual Top 25ish teams in college football. After much (none at all, this is a ton of fun) deliberation, on if I wanted to come back for another year; I decided I owed it to all you Jarv-Heads out there. 

Admittedly, it is going to be hard to be as correct as I was last year, but god knows I will try (and think I am even if I’m not). These articles and most importantly, winners(!), will continue to come in every week (114-74-1 LY! 6-4 W1). If you didn’t know by now, Jarvisbenjamin.com is LIVE and the best way to stay up to date with me remains to follow me on the artist formerly known as Twitter @JBV60SHOW. 

To the task at hand: 

1. Georgia Bulldogs (1-0) This Week: -42 v. Ball State: Surprise! These rankings are going to be Georgia’s until they’re not. I’m not entirely sure that the Dogs have everything that they had in previous years, but it’s close, and they will get the benefit of the doubt until proven wrong. Brock Bowers is back and is somehow even more of a weapon (if that was even possible). This game was originally scheduled to be against Oklahoma but had to be changed when OU’s plans to join the SEC were announced. #True

2. Michigan Wolverines (1-0) This Week: -36 v. UNLV: One of my favorite things about college football is its unpredictability. Every week you might see something you’ve never seen before. That was exactly the case in Ann Arbor Saturday when the Wolverines protested a self-imposed suspension! Truly once-in-a-lifetime stuff from the boys in Blue. Not enough people are talking about how Jimmy suspending himself this year to ensure he is on the sideline against Texas early next season is an incredibly calculated move. On the field, Michigan has the best backfield in the country and is a real national contender.

3. Alabama Crimson Tide (1-0) This Week: -7.5 v. Texas: Jalen Milroe looked really good last week. He was a dual-threat against the daunting Middle Tennessee defense all day, with three TDs in the air and two more on the ground. The Alabama ‘QB Controversy’ was weird to me. I’ll leave it at that. The Tide welcome the Longhorns this week, and on paper, it could be one of the games of the year. 56 non-conference wins in a row for Alabama. In scorching-hot takes, I like them to get to 57.

4. Ohio State Buckeyes (1-0) This Week: Line TBD v. Youngstown State: Close personal friend Ryan Day did not know who his starting QB was before the season, and after 20/33 for 239 and a pick for Kyle McCord, it’s probably safe to say he is still not 100% sure. Youngstown State poses quite the opportunity for Coach Day to get just that much closer to figuring it out! With weapons like Lil Marvin, Emeka Egbuka, Julian Fleming, AND Cade Stover; I really think the starting QB he’s looking for could be writing this article. 

5. USC Trojans (2-0) This Week: -29.5 v. Stanford: As I mentioned earlier, the unpredictability of CFB is one of its greatest aspects. When I think of USC, I think the opposite. I wake up every morning KNOWING that Lincoln Riley will coach his team to play flashy and fast, score 50 points a game, and ALWAYS be looking for just one more stop defensively. Who knows? Maybe this is the year. #FightON

6. Florida State Seminoles (1-0) This Week: -29.5 v. Southern Mississippi: What a win for the Noles on Sunday Night Football. Mike Norvell showed up and absolutely blew the door down to show the country that his team is a force to be reckoned with in the ACC (and maybe even the country). Jordan Travis looked goofy as hell great running the offense. Jared Verse probably would have been a Top 10 pick last year and came back to lead this defense to the promised land. College football is better when Florida State is good. The Noles are good this year.  

7. Notre Dame Fighting Irish (2-0) This Week: -7.5 @ NC State: I own a Notre Dame National Championship future. Just before this gets started. They’re really good. Sam Hartman is a pro. Audric Estime (shoutout JERSEY) probably is as well. Intriguing matchup this week for sure against the Pack. However, ND doesn’t have one of their resume-building games next week, so I like them to empty the tank, so to speak. Day game, look for the Wolfpack student body to be adequately hydrated for the beatdown. 

8. Clemson Tigers (0-0) This Week: Line TBD v. Charleston Southern: Better than last year! 10000% that’s a Jarvis guarantee. Veterans on the defensive line along with a year of experience for DC Wes Goodwin will more than likely bring back the (actually) daunting Clemson defense of years past. I also think Cade Klubnik will take a massive step forward this season. When in doubt, just check it down to Shipley, Cade. Nice and easy.

9. Penn State Nittany Lions (1-0) This Week: Line TBD v. Delaware: What a cover last week for the Nittany Lions! Beaver Stadium Week 1 has to be up there for one of the best environments in college football. Another tough defense and the reigns (finally) handed over to Drew Allar add up to some HIGH expectations in Happy Valley. Kaytron Allen and Nicholas Singleton could very easily be the second-best backfield in the country. 

10. Oregon Ducks (1-0) This Week: -6.5 @ Texas Tech: EASY 81piece for the Ducks and 546 TOUGH pushups for Puddles! Shoutout Great Take Tuesday! Bo Nix is back and on the wrong side of thirty this year. Kidding. Feels like it though. To be totally transparent Oregon/Washington are a coin flip in my mind. I will rock with the right-handed quarterback and the second-most popular sports podcast in the country! (Even though there is a great chance Texas Tech ends up on the Week 2 Card). Go Ducks Go. 

11. Washington Huskies (1-0) This Week: -34 v. Tulsa: Man did that Washington offense look good. Impressive victory for sure. However, I do think that the name of Boise State is a lot stronger than the team. Think about it. Huskies probably cover the big number AND their Team Total this week. Tulsa stinks. 

12. Texas Longhorns (1-0) This Week: +7.5 @ Alabama: Definitely kinda sucks that Alabama will (probably) ruin Texas’ season this early two years in a row. The Horns won handily but struggled more with Rice than I thought they would to be totally frank. A TD and a hook might be way too many points for this matchup (see: last year). But I’m not sure I like Sark to keep this game close. Definitely said this last year, but Sark is still rocking the Doctor Octopus shades. Talk about drip. 

13. Utah Utes (1-0) This Week: -7 @ Baylor: The easiest game in Week 1 was Utah beating the Gators. Close personal friend (and Heisman hopeful) Cam Rising did not even play and Florida was out of the game before Graham Mertz threw a downfield ball. If you know me, you know I like Utah Football. With that said, I am terrified for them with how tough the Conference of Champions is in its final season. 

14. LSU Tigers (0-1) This Week: Line TBD v. Grambling State: The boy Brian Kelly, might just not be it, people. How many ‘big’ (it’s still Week 1) games is this guy going to lose? Almost all of them is the answer. Although it did not look like it against Florida State, LSU has a very strong defense, that will help keep them afloat in the SEC until Brian Kelly quits on the season. If you don’t know who Harold Perkins is by now, I suggest figuring it out. I would hate to be Grambling this week. Geaux Tigers.

15. Oklahoma Sooners (1-0) This Week: -16.5 v. SMU: Truly almost took Arkansas State catching the big number last week. I expect Brett Venables to be ‘definitely better than last year’ or whatever I said for Clemson. Jarvis Guarantee. Rinse and Repeat. If OU can take care of business against Texas at Jerry World in October, Dillon Gabriel WILL be in the Heisman conversation. 

16. Tennessee Volunteers (1-0) This Week: Line TBD v. Austin Peay: Personally, I don’t understand the national infatuation with Joe Milton. The guy couldn’t hack it in the B10 and then became Hendon Hooker’s backup? Why is that impressive? Unfortunately for Rocky Top, the Vols had a WAY higher ceiling last year. I am looking forward to Nico taking over, once Josh Heupel inevitably has enough of Milton. 

17. Wisconsin Badgers (1-0) This Week: -6.5 @ Washington State: Rico Bosco picking them to win the National Championship is probably a kiss of death Lol. I think the Badgers will have a good year as well, Terrance. Luke Fickell came in and lit the world on fire a bit over the summer. I like Wisconsin to not lose any games they shouldn’t in the Big 10 West to set them up for a B10 Championship Game against one of the big boys. Gulp. 

18. Kansas State Wildcats (1-0) This Week: -15.5 v. Troy: Will Howard is another guy who is definitely not in the Heisman conversation but could be if things go the right way. K State could be 7-0 heading into a matchup with Texas. Man would that be something. More likely? They lose to Gus Malzahn and UCF in two weeks while Kelly in Vegas hoists her CLV trophy to the sky. 

19. Ole Miss Rebels (1-0) This Week: -7 @ Tulane: This may not be THE game of the week. But this is MY game of the week. This game is going to be unthinkably fun. I cannot wait to watch Lane walk into NOLA looking to run up the score just to run into a wall. Sneak preview but this game is most likely the Green Wave’s Super Bowl. You know what happened in the last one. 😉

20. North Carolina Tar Heels (1-0) This Week: -18 v. Appalachian State: The board is truly speaking to me right now if I’m being honest. UNC got the job done last week against a sub-par South Carolina team if we’re still being honest. I am under the impression that Spencer Rattler and the Cocks made the Tar Heels defense look way better than it really is. Congratulations to Mack Brown on 100 wins in Chapel Hill. 101 is not going to be as easy as Vegas suggests.

21. Texas A&M Aggies (1-0) This Week: -4 @ Miami FL: The Texas A&M defense definitely left a bit to be desired, letting New Mexico score 10 and move the ball relatively well. However, the offense looked efficient as the QB Weigman threw for 5 TDs and under 250 yards. Jimbo Fisher (coward and fraud) is high on his Aggies this year and should pass a good test this week.

22. Oregon State Beavers (1-0) This Week: Line TBD v. UC Davis: I am so out on DJ. Oregon State is tremendous at home and has a very strong defense, which should take them far in the Pac12. I just do not see it with DJ, unfortunately for them. The Pac12 is loaded at the QB position and while they did upgrade from last year, I do not think it is nearly enough to keep them relevant late into the year. 

23. Iowa Hawkeyes (1-0) This Week: -4 @ Iowa State: 24 points in Week 1 for Cade McNamara (not good) and the boys at Iowa! 7 more this week and they match their total from last year. I expect them to get to 2-0, but against a lowly ISU bunch, I’m not sure how much that says. They are going to have a good defense per usual. If the offense can meet them in the middle (or at least some of the way) they have a chance to win double-digit games. 

24. Tulane Green Wave (1-0) This Week: +7 v. Ole Miss: Yes, I wish I hadn’t picked South Alabama last week thinking I was smarter than myself and the powerhouse that is Tulane. It happens. Tulane constantly finds itself in big spots and constantly comes through. As I alluded to earlier, this is a much bigger game for one of these teams than the other. Michael Pratt is the man I want on my side. Ride the wave or get out of the water.

25. SMU Mustangs (1-0) This Week: +16.5 @ Oklahoma: Sneaky good team (another win total over for your boy). For my money, this is the second best team in the AAC. See above^. Don’t know if they have enough to win in Norman, but they are certainly going to score. Conservatively setting the total at 84.

26. Fresno State Bulldogs (1-0) This Week: Line TBD v. Eastern Washington: Hopefully everyone who was wondering about post-Jake Haener Fresno State met Mikey Keene. The kid can play. 

27. North Carolina State Wolfpack (1-0) This Week: +7.5 v. Notre Dame: Wiger Toods vs. the Bean Man. If you don’t have chills, you don’t know ball. 

28. Miami Florida Hurricanes (1-0) This Week: +4 v. Texas A&M: Winners of the Miami Bowl! Expectations are high, per usual. Great chance to keep the hype train rolling.

29. Colorado Buffaloes (1-0) This Week: -3.5 v. Nebraska: Travis Hunter is very good at football. I don’t really think this is the 29th-best team in the country. Consider me an ‘un-believer’, Coach Prime. Now give ME my theme music.

30. TCU Horned Frogs (0-1) This Week: Line TBD v. Nicholls: Wherever Colorado falls (really not even 49th-best probably), TCU is below them. 

I truly forgot how much I enjoyed making a top 25 list into 30 teams just to shit on a few lucky programs. Damn, it is good to be back.  Plenty of good games this weekend along with the NFL starting up on Sunday! *Let the record also show I am unusually high on my Dallas Cowboys*

Enjoy it, folks. 

Bonus: Jarvis’ Top 5 Jimmy Buffett songs. 

1. A Pirate Looks at Forty
2. That’s What Living Is To Me
3. Growing Older but Not Up
4. Something So Feminine About a Mandolin
5. Peanut Butter Conspiracy
6. I Wish Lunch Could Last Forever
7. Havana Daydreamin’
8. Delaney Talks to Statues
9. Twelve Volt Man
10. Chanson Pour Les Petits Enfants

Rest in Paradise, Jimmy.

200 years too late. Be Well.

JB